Onward we march. The days continue to roll as each breath passes. Do I choose the ecstatic bliss of the moment, or follow the program of fear which is so deeply seeded in my bones? As I awaken to the true potential of presence, I put my head down in submission. For I do not know any better. Right or left? Right or wrong? Who am I to say? As my being empties my brain and body of waste, life become more fluid; moving in and out with the tides, gracefully sliding through river rocks, always refining, not ready for stagnation, blessed to be on this journey.
Finishing two novels, Iron John and Spirit Bear, helped to shape my mentality as I prepared for Kauai and Alaska. Both epic stories of manhood, coming to grips with nature and all the elements, finding peace within oneself, overcoming hardships in order to merge with truth, and rites of passage. Since the western civilization has raped and pillaged indigenous tribes and ritual, we are left with an alienated/isolated culture that is shitting all over the earth. We barely remember how to wipe our own ass, let alone plant a garden to feed our children. We have lost precious information during the mass executions of many of our greatest medicine people. In our current system, teachers are programed to create drones/robots/industry workers. We are no longer MEN and WOMEN. We rely on technology, we worry about everything, we poison ourselves, television and cell phones have become more important than face-to-face relations, and we are burning up precious resources. Today is a grim day.
Connecticut sapped me of energy. I sat in many circles of friends & family and observed the high-speeds in which we all live. While someone tells a story: a friend is tweeting about a football game, someone is playing Angry Birds, another is texting her boyfriend, on the wire bets being placed, and I stoke the fire. My ego wants everyone's full presence. If I am here, please be here too! Time is precious. Traveling gives me incredible perspective on the pace in which some people choose to live their lives versus others. I have not met anyone yet that I fully agree with. I feel that we are all stuck in limbo. It is wonderful that information is can rapidly be transferred with a few brain cells firing and a small movement of the finger. It is also wonderful to sit naked on the earth with no sound. Where do we go? What do we do? Do I take part I take part in this society moving towards technology dependence? Or do I unplug myself from the matrix? Hmmm Neo, I want the best of both worlds, the blue and the red pill.
I left Connecticut with the feeling that I no longer want to be responsible for answering my telephone. I do not want to pay state taxes when I do not have a residence in a state. TSA searches my bags: they stick grimy, plastic fingers in my green powders searching for explosives, and they haphazardly tear through my check on while leaving my machete unsheathed and ready to rip through my belongings. I am tired of being treated like a prisoner. All I want to do is camp in the woods, walk barefoot, pick fruits from trees, swim with the dolphins, help propagate the mycelium kingdom to heal the earth, teach children secrets of magic, dance and howl with the wolves, hibernate with the bears, and share sweet love with a divine Goddess. Society has taught me to fear the depth of the woods. Not only do "beasts" lie there, but so does the taxman, waiting to ticket the next hippie trying to get a free ride in the woods. Take the poor man's money and give it to the army - it's the American way! Yay Uncle Sam! You did it!
Tie leather straps to my ankles and hang me upside down. Swinging in the pine forest, bound to this never-ending existence, mish-mash sounds of song birds and motor cars, healing winds remind me of hope, in grace with tears of heaven.
Laura Love picked me up at the airport. I was welcomed into her home and invited to stay for the night. Kauai smells of Island lush and moist valleys. Ancient mountain ranges, blanketed with green forest and an ocean filled with divine intelligence. The fungus kingdom called to me early this morning and I stumbled upon many "prized" species of edible mushrooms. After a mid-morning yoga class with a 60+ year old British teacher, I took off to Sleeping Giant Mountain. Moving to the tunes of the Hang drum, Life presented its grandeur to me. Intricate carvings found in rocks, vines weaving through canopies, mud squishing between toes, grappling lava rock, forests of Bamboo/eucalyptus/pine, strong chestnut horse with white heron perched on his back, tangerines falling from many limbs, and a moment of peace.
Tomorrow I will help Vince, a proud new owner of a 2 acre plot on the foothill of Makaleha, build a cabin for him and his sweetie. In return, I will camp on his land for the time being. A short walk away are multiple fresh water springs and many trails open for exploration. I will make it to Koke'e park and Waimea canyon soon, and then to the Napali Coast. If you "google map" Kauai, I will be in the green. Laura Love will store my Alaska gear (thank you!) as I open to the unfolding of my path and destiny.
As we move closer to the light, remember, We are One.
The new moon seemed like a great time to perform ceremony. Fasting and taking the path of the Siberian dancing shaman led me deep into an altered state. Surrounded by crystals, pyramids made out of high-quality arrows, sacred art, the smoke of sage/cedar/incenses, candles, and sound-current, I danced my way into an ecstatic state. My life seemed so clear in this moment: I needed to go to Maine before I could settle in Alaska. Motivation to dance left me, and I sat. My nervous system was overloaded and my body began convulsing all over. Three visions were scarred in my brain and looped over and over. One of a screaming face, the other two I cannot quite remember. My arms twitched in a constant rhythm and I entered into a state of unknown. A place I had never been before, where control was completely out of my hands. Alice traveled down the rabbit hole, but did she ever come back. Would I ever be normal again?
Liters of water, agonizing rest, and time brought a sense of equilibrium back into my body. Dizzy, I crafted an exquisite meal, which was barely enjoyed due to the loss of synapses in my brain. Functioning at the level of a zombie, I began packing. As the night turned into the early morning, I became determined to finish the job I started. There was no plan other than to be prepared for anything. I was going to drive up the coast of Maine until I either reached The College of Atlantic or veered into the White Mountains. Gear, food, and body were ready to go by 4 am.
At 8 am, I rose, packed my truck and began the hazy journey. I arrived in Kennebunkport on the footsteps of Danielle's home around lunch time. Flowers, chocolate, wine, and Guatemalan gifts in hand, I entered her families cozy farm house. The coal stove was roaring, the kitties purring, bellies being filled, and the puppy curled in a ball. I enjoyed conversation with her family, toasted to life, boiled Reishi tea, and continued on my way. I love Danielle with all of my heart. Similar to the epic tale of Brünnhilde, I saw the ring of fire and tried to cross it, and got burned.
I spent that evening with a great buddy, fantastic chef, and wise teacher, David Levi. At this point my brain was almost non-functional. David passed on a book to me, "Iron John," written by Robert Blye. Instantly the novel had a huge impact on me. Pepped up on caffeine and delicious food, I took off towards Acadia National Park, in hopes to get some nature/hiking time in as well as visit the College of Atlantic (COA - a prospective grad program I was looking in to).
Underestimating the linearity and speed of time in relation to the setting of the sun, I arrived well after dark. I filled my belly with raw coconut chocolate and made my way to the campground on the tip of Mount Desert Island. Surrounded by cold darkness began to inspire me. I fantasized about my time in Alaska and the prospect of meeting and partnering with a Husky/wolf ally that I could travel/hunt with in AK. As I was submersed in thought, a large silver wolf gracefully emerged from the forest. Thunderstruck, I stood still waiting for his/her next move. After telepathy failed, I tried whistling and then moving. All failed and the wolf took off into the woods. Either way, my heart and hopes soared to the heavens with the prospect of spending more time with the fantastical animals that we share the earth with.
Arriving at the campground was a bit disappointing. The road was snowed in, meaning almost a mile walk to the nearest camp spot. I was prepared for this though, so I cleared the bed of my truck, laid my sleeping pad and bag out, covered the bag with a tarp and climbed in. The stars pierced the dark night sky, filling my eyes and heart with wisdom that goes way beyond my understanding. I began to fade off, but was frequently woken by gusts of cold wind. Eventually clouds rolled in and the ocean winds picked up. I pulled the tarp over my whole body and head and cocooned myself in. The set up worked pretty well, but had one major flaw: my breath caused quite a bit of condensation which rained on my sleeping bag and then froze. So at 5 am when I finally had the courage to get out of my bag, it was frozen solid.
"Iron John" speaks of initiation into manhood. We lack this tradition in most cultures today; therefore, boys rarely become real men. Tribes might take the boys away from their mothers at 12 for a year, bring them out in nature, put them through series of physical and mental tests, make them fast & drink blood, and return them with a bit of hair on their chest! Now a days, men have lost the role of the hunter, protector; instead, we thought it was better if we became softies. This forced women into a "harder" "masculine" role that she is not naturally equipped to fill. Now we are in a whole shit show where genders are foggy and no one knows what their role is. Balance is thrown way off because of this insane epidemic we created! It is time to accept the wild man that lies within every man, love it, and become real men. It is my hopes to be a part of these initiations, for myself, but also to take boys on journeys into manhood.
My time at COA was magical. An incredible campus, inspired students, great faculty, delicious food, and a great community. I sat in a few classes and wanted to rip all the hairs out of my head. I cannot be confined to the classroom anymore. I have plenty of ideas, and I am ready to put them in action.
One idea I have is: recruit a group of 11 or 12 young males, personally teach them for a semester/year, travel with them, teach them to be human beings and responsible men, share a disciplined yogic lifestyle, eat and grow delicious food, submerse ourselves in music/arts/storytelling/martial arts, learn from the earth, create a space of trust and companionship, develop compassion through service, and consciously evolve. I will continue to fine tune this idea and hopefully have a succinct business plan soon. It would be nice to receive a large amount of private funding, a large plot of land, an airplane, a 15 passenger van, and connections for food/gear for the students. If you would like to invest in this project or have ideas how I could acquire roughly 3 million dollars, please do not hesitate to contact me. mdenicola9@gmail.com.
The adventure lives on; the waves continue to crash. Like a dolphin, I surf the sea.
It has been a while since my last blog. Since then, we have all lived through the solstice, christmas, and the New Year. Reliving these experiences through written language is proving to be quite difficult, but I will do my best to relay my experience in a coherent way!
Meeting Brad and Kyle in Cancun felt equivalent to a monkey being ripped from the forest and thrown into a circus. Walking through this Mexican city made of plastic was disturbing and equally as humorous. Ultimately, the city seems to be a bubble of glutton and waste. High rising hotels, garbage, busy streets, abuse of alcohol and drugs, CAGED dolphins (not cool), corrupt policemen, overpriced food, and WalMart. Regardless, two of my best buds in the world were arriving and we had a sweet condo right on the beach for two days. The ocean was fresh, the sun warm, coconuts plentiful, and the music was flowing. It was a great reunion and the beginning of our journey as the three amigos!
Waking up the first morning to the sun blasting in my face, I was struck with a sense of urgency to find peace in the woods. For a few weeks I had been pondering spending the winter on Kauai and then hopping up to Alaska for the summer. Pure air, water, and food. With a happy gut, I can clear my mind, and then venture deep into the diamond of my heart. On this morning, I picked up my phone, connected to our condo's wifi, and found a ticket straight to Kauai from JFK for $160 leaving January 27th. At this point, I had already planned on traveling back to the states with my bros and surprising my family for Christmas. The 27th would give me a month at home, plenty of time to rejuvenate and prepare for Hawaii. Without hesitation, I bought the ticket, closed the blinds, and rolled over to go back to bed.
We almost made it out of Cancun without any problems, but a wild animal has no place in a twisted city. On the second evening, I pulled off the road to relieve myself of a full bladder. For the past few months, I had been living in villages without public bathrooms or in the woods. Typically, everyone urinated on trees. A symbiotic relationship that helps the trees to grow strong and healthy! Barefoot in the woods, I remembered my current location, quickly zipped my pants up before relieving myself, but it was too late. The police saw me (later I found out this is "what they do") and I was quickly surrounded by officers with hands on their guns. As I was explaining to the male officer that I did not urinate, a female officer was informing Kyle that I had blatantly exposed myself to her! With their flashlights, they tried to find traces of urine on the trees, pointing at random leaves and threatening me. At this point, I was ready to run, but I had two peeps to worry about and I wasn't wearing my bullet proof vest. As I continued to refuse their accusations, more cop cars pulled up. Batons in hands and fire in their eyes, the cops did not back down. At this point I was looking at 36 hours of jail time and a $170 fine. There was nothing I could do, so I put my hands up and climbed in the back of the cop car with no ID, no shoes, and a little bit of money. Right as I was imagining the colorful jail suit jumper I was soon going to be wearing, a female cop opened the door and signaled me out. Another female cop looked extremely nervous as she fondled the wad of American cash that Brad had just handed her. It took a bribe of $100 for them to release me and quickly scatter back to their crooked livelihood. Perhaps in the future these cops will be able to support themselves without taking advantage of unarmed civilians. For now, I forgive them and ask that we all send a prayer to the misfortunate souls that are living dishonestly. As the strong continue to pave the path of truth, those living in sin will find their way.
The solstice arrived quickly. After a night of indulging in Arroz con leche and chocolate, we were up bright and early to be a part of the beginning Mayan ceremonies at Chichen Itza. Elders were dressed in full regalia, smoking sacred tobacco pipe, burning sage, blessing the people with feathers, beating drums, and singing the sweet songs of our ancestors. People of every color of the rainbow had anticipated this day for years. The mark of the beginning of the new cycle. The transition from the Piscean to the Aquarian age or from the Iron to the Golden Age. According to Aztec elder, Mazatzin, we have 13 years from this day to get our act together. Either we will unite as one, or we will destroy each other. The idea of utopia sounds nice to me, so I vote for peace (or as Bob said "One Love").
The elders ceremony did not last long. They were off the temple grounds well before the vendors set up their booths and the camera waving tourists flowed in. We were blessed to be a part of this early morning ceremony. At this time, our journey began. An earthy sister approached us with chocolates filled with love and psilocybin mushrooms. The three of us opened our hearts to the fungal kingdom, sat down, held hands in prayer, and ingested the medicine of Quetzalcoatl.
As the medicine began to work, I found myself circling the main pyramid following the drumming, chanting, and dancing. If groups formed, I joined in their ceremony. If there was silence, I got on my knees and prayed to Mother Earth. For the first time in my life, I understood that we are all brothers and sisters. The sun is our father, the earth our mother, and we are their children. It is our duty to mature and take responsibility for ourselves, help each other, and take care of our Mother. As the morning progressed, I found myself being called to the main ball court next to the temple of Jaguars.
Barefoot, bare-chested, feather in my hair, I made my way to the ball court. Visitors led by tours snapped photos, children ran through the grass, and scientists tried to make sense of the beautiful carvings and statues. I found my way to the center of the ball court, where the earth opened up, revealing her precious silvery mud. Without hesitation, I began bathing in the sacred earth, connecting to all those who lived and played on this ball court. I began to feel at home, like I had lived here before. I found myself deep in prayer, filled with gratitude and bathed in the abundance of love that surrounded me. I looked up from the mud and my eyes filled with joy. A healthy tree fruiting vibrant orange flowers, like none that I had ever seen. Making my way quietly to the tree, I devised a plan to harvest a flower. With a quick swoop, I climbed the tree, snagging a flower in my teeth and dropping from the limbs before too many camera clickers could snap a picture. I was about to leave the court when I saw a precious, wise old mayan woman. It was her flower, and she accepted it with great pleasure and a large smile! The tree still stood, so I climbed back up it, this time snagging three flowers. One for each ear, and one for my mouth. As I thanked the tree for her flowers, I noticed that unconscious beings had stuffed her trunk full of plastic bottles. Disappointment quickly flowed through my veins. I picked up a bottle, looked at the crowd of people taking pictures of me, and began smacking it against my head; speaking the common language of the body that we can all relate to, and saying, "WAKE UP! This is our Mother, why are we polluting her?" I emptied the trunk of bottles, made my way to the trash, and was sent off with a twinkle of the eye and a "Gracias" from the beautiful, elder Mayan woman.
I felt the pain of Mother Earth, and it made me want to cry. I sunk my face into the ground, prayed to her, and then was greeted by a couple of news reporters. They shoved a microphone in my face and began rolling. I simply told them how I felt, sad and disappointed. It was a powerful moment as I asked humanity to wake up and nourish the roses! A friend of mine found part of the clip: I appear at 1:31. The news reporters chose certain clips and interviews that made us look like a bunch ungrounded hippies living in the clouds. Regardless, I do believe heaven will reign again on this planet.
After being sucked dry by the camera, I ran into my two buds. They saw my sadness and tried their best to console me. I needed space so I made my way to the south side of the pyramid. Laying face down on the earth, I apologized for all the pollution and rubbish we have created. I felt like a bad child. At this moment, my bare leg was hit by a flapping piece of paper. I was angry at first, thinking, "ahhh trash!" Then a voice spoke to me, "That paper is for you Michael." I jumped up, and grabbed the rogue paper. On it read, "The Prophesized Return of Quetzalcoatl...found after the ingestion of entheogenic mushrooms." A workshop would be taking place the following day on this topic. What?!?! I looked back at my moccasins and a book was laying next to them. The book, "The Prophesized Return of Quetzalcoatl," is written by a man named Gaia. Where in the world it came from? I did not know. I looked around the crowd bewildered. Bowing at the pyramid, my faith in humanity immediately sky rocketed to an all new high!
Kyle and Brad could not explain the mysterious appearance of this book, so I made my way to Michael, the creator of the Synthesis Gathering. He was without explanation as well. Inspired by the flow of energy, I began asking Michael if we were going to gather everyone and have a UNITED ceremony. Of course he would like to, but everything was scattered. We agreed that it could be done, but someone would have to do it. Filled with divine energy, I agreed to the task. A business partner approached Michael with business matters, and I was suddenly alone again.
No Fear. I used to wear a hat that used that slogan when I was a young boy, now I strive to live it. Seeing the potential of a situation and yearning for unity, I I began running around the pyramid rousing up the crowds of people, "Everybody, lets hold hands around the pyramid. Please!!!" At first people thought I was insane! But then, certain people began saying things like, "Yea, I had the same idea. I will help you." They would start gathering their friends. I covered the 4 corners, making sure to have a strong leader at each corner. The circle began to form. As I made my way to the west face, I saw Kyle and Brad holding hands. I broke through their hands; Kyle looking at me bewildered, he said, "Mike, aren't you going to be a part of the circle?" With a smirk, I replied, "I am!" Then I took off running like a wild man around the pyramid, letting out the loudest Indian cry I could, "ayeyeyayyayaa!!!" One hand raised in victory, I made my way back to the South face. Right where I was praying was the last break in the circle. I held the hands of a small boy and an elderly lady, then the circle began to move. The little boy almost in tears said, "this is so beautiful!" As I looked up at the sky, 3 birds of prey swooped through the clouds and began to circle the pyramid. The clouds broke and the sun shone on the pyramid for the first time that day! We were pulsing with love and gratitude for existence, and our Mother and Father were happy! Quetzalcoatl returns!
I made it to Gaia's workshop the following day, and it turns out he put the book on my shoes. He said he saw me in prayer and it looked as though I could benefit from the book! I could not agree more! During his workshop he explained that indigenous tribes of Central America used entheogenic mushrooms as a link to the divine. They fasted, prayed, and then ingest the mushrooms as the sun was setting (a symbol of entering the underworld). Then, they would dance. Through ecstatic dance, they could access the spirit that became known as Quetzalcoatl. Throughout the book, Gaia references many statues and engravings that show Quetzalcoatl sprouting out of a mushroom, or shamans dancing with mushroom heads, or Quetzalcoatl flying with mushroom in hand. It is Gaia's belief that "now" is the time when humanity is going to reawaken to the potential of ingesting mushrooms in sacred ceremony to resurrect the spirit of the feathered serpent sun god, Quetzalcoatl. I agree, it is time to reveal the truth. Humanity is almost ready!
That evening we ingested more another mushroom chocolate. The bros went on a mission through the woods, and in silence, I danced ecstatically to electronic music for hours at the outdoor music venue of Synthesis Festival. I do not recommend this path for everyone, but if you are called to it, please be safe. It is wise to do ceremony with a reliable shaman if you are new to ingesting mushrooms. If you go into the ceremony pure in your heart and intention, empty in your gut and mind, then you will experience your own divinity. This is only one path, for there are many that lead to the one source. Follow your heart.
I deep gratitude and love, I thank you Kyle and Brad for the wonderful adventures we shared!
I have no been home for a couple of weeks recovering from a bad case of parasites/Giardia. My days have been filled with rest, hiking, cleansing, and fasting on E3 Live Algae, greens, & clean food. A couple of days ago I reconnected with a friend from Alaska, Adam Jordan, to obtain a name of an organization that he recommended to me a couple of years ago. Alaska Crossings: a wilderness behavioral health program. Check it out, it's pretty awesome! I applied, interviewed, and by the Grace of God, I begin training on March 12! Soon I will be leading 41 day wilderness expeditions in Alaska, mentoring and guiding Alaskan youth who need support. Wahe Guru!
From the bottom of my heart, I love you all. Let us remember that we are all brothers and sisters. We do not need to destroy this planet or each other. We can live in peace. Let us let go of our "warrior" mentality and embrace Love, Compassion, and Equality. Please.
