Stinky Tofu & Vipers

He was on the vine w/ my towel

Hanging your towel up under the moonlight a few inches from a tree snake will really wake you up. And then, you might shit your pants when you find out that that snake is a “Russell’s Pit Viper,” which is responsible for thousands of human deaths a year, more than any other snake. My heart is pumping... Last night when I had this “close” encounter with my little buddy right next to the hammock I have been sleeping in for the last week, I tricked myself into believing it was a blessing. I watched him slither on a vine and look at me with his beady eyes, not yet realizing that this snake has a nervous disposition that leads them to strike unpredictably with lightning speed. After I finish writing this, I am going to walk through the dark forest back to my hammock. God bless me.

You might ask yourself, how in the world did I get myself to Taiwan? I ponder this question quite regularly. I think I finally have my head wrapped around it. It all started with the Ninja Turtles. You see, Michelangelo was my hero. He was super radical, wore orange, ate tons of pizza, said “cowabunga,” got all the ladies, and was a martial artist fighting for justice. Obviously my little being wanted to emulate his moves, and this requires the study of Martial Arts. Fast forward to the
Carribbean where I had the opportunity to study Tai Chi with Emily on a regular basis for a few months, quickly feeling the effects from a regular Tai Chi practice. The seed was planted.

In Hawaii, Qi Gong master Nadia re-sparked my love for the ancient Chinese energetic arts. Leading me to Toronto for the International Qi Gong festival with my mother. An old wise master informed me that my hands would be better used for martial arts rather than healing, if only I would train. Seeing the wisdom in this master’s long beard hairs, I became determined to explore this art deeper. On my way off the island of Kauai, I purchased a Shakuhachi  (Japanese meditation flute). I flew to Alaska to begin training for AK Crossings. During an icebreaker game, we trainees were asked, “Where do you see yourself next year?” Naturally, I answered, “In a Samurai garden playing my Shakuhachi!”

A few weeks later, I was in a hotel enjoying my first hot shower in weeks. In the steam filled room, I saw a pair of owl eyes staring at me in the mirror. The reflection from the light mixed with the steam played an incredible trick. Engrossed in the image, I allowed my mind to clear. As I entered into the void, the two golden eyes became one. The moment a thought entered, the eyes became two. I played with this reaching emptiness again. BAM! “Go to China!” rang in my head!

Rolling on the ground, belly laughing by myself in a hotel in Juneau, AK, I realized that this made perfect sense. India is the mother of Yoga; I connected with her. I must now journey to China to connect with the mother of martial arts.

Travelling back to Wrangell in between my work schedule, a lovely local named Kay introduced me to “Baha’I faith” and opened her home for me to stay. As it turns out, she had travelled to China over 6 times and her home was breathing with Chinese energy. And, she had “Kung Fu Panda 3D.” After watching this epic film, I was convinced I needed to go to the Dragon Land, eat dumplings, and get my Kung Fu on!

I heard all sorts of different horror stories and bologna about traveling to China. I was just trying to go back to the homeland, find Mr. Miyagi, and stand on a post for a few months learning the bonsai tradition and sipping delicious tea. I searched the Internet and found out that during WWII, Japan took over part of China. This brought the Chinese communists and the nationalists together to gain control over their country. After victory was reached, many of the nationalists fled to Taiwan rather than be wiped out by the communist party. With the nationalists were many martial arts masters. According to Internet sources, Taiwan contains the true essence of Martial Arts.

I dig Islands. Coconuts, fruits, salt water. I also like swords. One of the last living sword masters in the world lives on this island. Somewhere I got it in my head that if I ever wanted to train with the sword, like Archangel Michael or Guru Gobind Singh, I may as well forge my sword. This was the tipping point for Taiwan. Now I am here, barely anyone speaks English, I haven’t found any martial arts teachers, and I am camping next to the deadliest snake in the world. Wahe Guru!

Griff and I got on the airplane and things shifted immediately. We were surrounded by Chinese characters, Pokémon looking creatures, gibberish to our ears, and all sorts of weird foods. Nathan, a homie we met on Couchsurfing, met us at the metro station and took us back to his apartment. There, we enjoyed Dragon-Eye and Buddha fruit. Yum! We spent a few days with Nathan and Jeremy exploring Taipei, adventuring to hot springs, temple hopping, trying all sorts of interesting foods, and meeting two great new brothers.

It was nice being back in a foreign country. I forgot what it was like to have straight men comment on the curls in my hair or let me know that I look sexy in a speedo. No boundaries. Love it. I also forgot how strange food can be. One evening we found ourselves at a “night market.” It seemed like a massive street carnival with tons of food, people unconsciously stuffing their faces with meat on a stick and sugar, and then throwing darts at balloons. Mobs of people swarmed, inching their way past you to get to the next vendor. For some reason I ventured away from the group.

Not knowing what to eat or what parts of which animals were being cooked, I looked for a familiar food. Tofu. Perfect. Pointing to the food, not pretending I had any idea what was being said, I paid and proceeded to insert the tofu into my mouth. Instantly I knew something was wrong. This tofu tasted like it had been wrapped in a dirty sock for months. Absolutely foul. No one knows why “Stinky Tofu” is such a hit on the streets. Every time I smell it, my stomach turns.

I was raised as, “It’s Mikey, He Likes it!” I ate everything. I never hesitate to try a food, especially the authentic dishes. But wow, the Taiwanese eat some gnarly food. I bought these eggs off a beautiful little girl. They were wrapped in a black herb, or maybe its dung; I have no idea. She assured me they were delicious. I peeled the mystery black crust off the egg, cracked it open and revealed a black goose egg. Gelatinous black egg that tastes like rotten fish. I don’t see the appeal. Yet I keep trying them (she convinced me to buy a bag of them) in hopes that maybe my palate will adjust.

Griff and I were spoiled during these few days because Nathan speaks great Mandarin and has lived in Taiwan for a year or so. When we split, we found ourselves back in a sea of characters and techno music. We head for the mountains, we needed to escape the city and get our bearings straight. We found ourselves in Toroko Gorge: an incredible marble gorge, with a gushing river and waterfalls throughout it. We spent a few days hiking in the rain, soaking in natural hot springs, observing monkeys, climbing water falls, getting our pictures taken by the locals, and slinging our hammocks on rocky cliffs.

Being in the rain for days on end is not very fun. We heard the south was warmer, drier, and had super friendly people. We hopped on a train and headed south to Fanglio. Finally we felt as though we had reached the “promised land.” We enjoyed the most delicious, spicy fish dinner and green tea at a beautiful family restaurant. Their kids escorted us to a beach after dinner and showed us a few proper trees to post up at. We made it.

The sun woke us up the next day. With spirits high, we continued south to Kending. A national park with great coastline for diving and surfing, warm sun, and friendly locals. The actual town of Kending is built up, noisy, and not so fun to be in (for us). We needed better transportation. No one would sell or rent us a scooter or motorcycle because we were foreigners and we couldn’t communicate with them. We were determined: eye of the tiger.

 In Taiwan, people chew beetle nut. They have these stands with “beetle girls” at them who wrap the nut in a tobacco leaf and inject them with unknown, mystery chemicals. Apparently it is like “speed” and makes you feel nice and warm. It also makes your mouth bright red and give you an excessive amount of nasty red saliva. Beetle nuts! They are everywhere, and so are their nasty piles of beetle juice. We needed to find the right beetle head to rent us a scooter.

It was not too hard. Our dude has a peg leg, a dog that bit me in the leg, and a whole fleet of scooters. Two gas powered scooters for two weeks, 250$ out the door. Zoom Zoom riot – cruising! Hair in the wind, smiles on our face, we posted up at the farthest beach from civilization, Jiayaoshu. They have a bathroom for the surfers with a small shower and toilets. Griff rented a surfboard from an awesome local named Roger. We kick it at his surf shack, drinking tea, jamming on ukuleles & djembe, and chanting to the moon. It is an awesome little beach community.

Days have been spent shredding the coast on our scooters, exploring for the best reef to dive, surf spots, beaches to nap at, hot springs to soak, mountains to climb, and local places to eat. Most mornings we eat “Doung Shwa Ping” (I have no idea if that is how you spell it – in fact, it has taken me 3 weeks to pronounce it almost correct). It is a millet pancake with scallions and an egg. Delicious! Dumplings are a favorite, although we never really know what is in them. Buddha fruit, papaya, banana, Asian pear, goji berries, egg fruit, and grapes are frequently on the menu. So is Bubble Tea! Everywhere there are tea stands serving a large variety of teas. Currently I have been enjoying the Matcha with white pearls. Griff enjoys the Red Bean tea, but had a huge smile on his face when he sipped the pineapple passion fruit tea. Moonbeams café in Hengchun serves fine tea in pots – medicinal and tasty!

We tend to mosey into the most “local” looking restaurants, say “Ni Hao,” point at what someone is eating, smile, say “Xie xie,” and cross our fingers hoping that it is something delicious. Usually our intuition is correct. Sometimes we end up with a strange combination of foods – like a small hotdog in soup with clams, a raw egg, and kimchi.

I love Hengchun. There is a small part of this known as the “ancient village.” Fish and meat markets, local fruit stands, scooters whizzing around, small time shops, and stone roads. I have developed quite a relationship with an old wizard selling fruit. He uses his curved blade to shave the outside of a pineapple for me and slices it in seconds. He noticed I had sand on my feet today and started doing the breaststroke in the middle of the street. Yes, we both like to swim!

Since the sun has been out, I have been free diving. The Eye of Shiva has been one of my favorite findings thus far. Shells with the golden spiral in them shining on the ocean floor. Last night, I felt a little wild after a day of diving with Griff. We raviounosly went to the night market and gorged ourselves in all sorts of food – octopus omelets, peanut butter filled rice balls, bean soup, spicy ginger tea, pepper noodles, squid balls, and sushi. After seeing a “Taiwanese Reggae band” get their funk on, I began the scoot home. Now, on the way home from Hengshun there is an opening in the earth that leaks natural gas. This gas is then ignited and creates and “eternal flame.” I visit this mysterious fire quite frequently. Under the moon, I sat next to the fire using its strength to help me digest. Full moon and fire make me feel wild. I turned my lights off on my scooter and flew down one of my favorite roads. It was one of the most magical experiences I have had in a while; mountains on either side of me and only the moon and the stars guiding my bike. Freedom. When I got home, I put my hand a few inches from the mouth of the most deadly snake in the world.

I woke up with a sense of adventure. Reef diving was in my sights. I swam up and down a couple of new coasts, but was not impressed. I revisited “Shell beach,” a white sand beach where you are technically not allowed to be, but if you jump in the water real quick no one bothers you. My body has begun to get used to pressure changes again, so free diving is becoming more enjoyable. When DMT was releasing on my brain in the dark room in Guatemala, I had a vision of a hilltop on the coast. I saw myself leaving “pirate treasure” at this spot. The hill off of “Shell Beach” reminded me a lot of this space.

With wild fire in my eyes, I began swimming fearlessly through the choppy waters. I found some of the best Shiva Eyes yet, and was getting super lightheaded because I don’t have a snorkel. I hold my breath, and come up like a dolphin to grab a sip of air here and there. I kept feeling like I was going to find my treasure. I swam and swam, about a hundred of meters off the shore.

There it was: a massive coral head, swarming full of life. Somersaulting underwater, I watched the sunlight shimmer through the electric veins of the jellyfish. Dodging the gelatin creature, I dove deeper with the brightly colored fish and sea snakes. Feeling so much love for the ocean, my heart began to swell. In this moment, a magnificent sea turtle caught my eye. We tangoed under water for a bit, then he took off. Rather than chase him, I played in the coral head. A baby turtle swam out from under a rock, and we danced! His fins were so full of color and life. Amazing creature!

Determined to find a chest full of gold, I kept diving deeper and exploring more. Laughing in my mind, knowing that, as in the “Alchemist,” the treasure is inside. At that moment, I saw the prehistoric underwater creature. The largest turtle I have ever swam with. From head to tail he must have been 5 feet long. His face looked wise and he had two big tails. Calmly we swam together. I felt as though he was leading me to my destiny, my treasure. In a state of ecstasy, I continued my swim towards the coast as the old one turned around back to the deep sea.

As crazy as my experience here has been, I love Taiwan. I felt a sense of nostalgia rising for this island as I sipped tea and enjoyed my mystery soup. I am leaving here in 8 days. I go to Hong Kong to get a visa for China, then I will travel to WuDang mountain: the mountain where TaiJi was created. Here I will study martial arts intensely for an unknown amount of time.

As I travel into the dark jungle tonight, I will shine my light bright and true. I live in the woods with Vipers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daboia